***3 Reasons Why I Can't Be Friends with a Guy***

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  There is an age old and recurrrent debate of whether or not the opposite sex can successfully be just friends. I am a firm believer that although guys and girls can have a successful friendship, at some point one party may harbor feelings toward the other. The feelings may never be vocalized and the friendship may never be tainted but at some point in time, they will exist.  Try as you might, although it is possible to have a successful friendship with the opposite sex, at times it might become extremely difficult, especially if you are in a relationship. There are many ways that you can get around these issues but here are some reasons why we can’t be friends.
  
  
  
  1. There is a thin line between a friendship and a romantic relationship. Many times we fall for someone based on their personality and their character. Even though looks and attraction are part of why we select a partner, the vast majority of people rely on personality as a pivotal part of their selection process. If you don’t have chemistry or get along well with someone, you won’t have a successful relationship. However, the problem is that personality is the same thing we look for in a friend.  We value their character and the fact that who they are meshes well with who we are. Therefore, when we have a friend of the opposite sex, the line might get blurry and we may start to value these personality traits that we love in our friend to the point of developing romantic feelings toward them. The basis of most romantic relationships is friendship and everything else follows.  Add physical attraction into the mix and Houston we have a problem!
  
  2. Ulterior motives. When you are someone who is solely interested in friendship, you have to keep in mind that the other person may have ulterior motives. A lot of people use the friend role as a way to try to slide their way into becoming something more.  They will play the role of the good friend; the one you can always talk to while inconspicuously waiting for their moment to be more.  If all you really wanted was a genuine friend, you will find yourself in an uncomfortable predicament when their true motives surface.
  
  3.The friendship may complicate your relationships. You should never be in a serious relationship  with someone who can’t respect the fact that you have friends, but having close friends of the opposite sex can make your partner uncomfortable. Even if they aren’t the jealous type or they have friends of their own, the fact that you are so close with the other gender may start to get to them.  A lot of guys don’t like the fact that their girlfriend has a close guy friend because they may be suspicious that her friend desires more which links back to the idea of ulterior motives. Guys know how other guys think which means they understand that sometimes the “friend” could really be preying on his girlfriend as well as vulnerabilities in their relationship. While your boyfriend will accept the fact that you have male friends if he really wants to be with you, it might create a lot of tensions and unwanted drama in your relationship.  
  I’ve tried having male friends and at some point they always overstep their boundary.
  What about you? How do you successfully remain just friends?