Sometimes I wonder; Infect now a days I wonder 24 hours . . .

Why is the things the way it is . . . . where are the powers coming from . . .

How is it changing everything . . . . . to nothing . . . .

The meaning behind everything . . . .. is nothing anymore . . . .

The affection behind everything . . . . . is nothing anymore . . . .

When I sit there and wonder . . . . . I t f e e l s l i k e I a m f a l l i n g d o w n f r o m a c l i f f . . . .

And it’s not only me, but I am taking everyone who are connected to me . . .

Its not my accomplishments . . . the ones I have and the ones I am going to achieve . . .

Its not my effort anymore . . . its not about my well being anymore . . ..

Its not about my socialization anymore . . . .

Its not about my norms, values and traditions anymore . . . .

I personally don’t know what it is about . . . .

I sit in library the whole day and its 10:30 pm and I am still there . . . .

Suppose to be studying . . . . and what am I doing . . . .

Watching the words . . . . trying to understand the words . . . . and the words are no more a words. . . they are all individual letter to me now . .  and they are all forming new words for me . . . all telling me something . . . something that I am doing . . . something that I should do .. . . something that I shouldn’t do . ..  Something like . . . . like. .. . . . n the word disappears and forms into a letter again and into a new word . . . . Are this symptoms of craziness?  - - - - har pagal yeh hi khaeta hai ke mein pagal nahi hu . . . LOL!

Honestly, I am capable of everything – I am aware of the intelligence level I own . . . I am aware of the height which I can reach . . . I am aware of my own pros and cons . . . . but what I am not aware of is . . . . my aim anymore.

I am not aware anymore . . . . About my values and norms and tradition . . .

Right is choosing my values and tradition and Left is choosing my aim and goal and my life’s dream!

Everything feels wrong . . . . Everyone seems hypocrite . . . . . every ounce of me says the world is bullsh!t . . .

Why do I ramble so much . . .  do I have some kind of phobia . . . sickness . . . craziness . . .

If the things I think and do are so important to me – then’ why don’t I just act on them . . . why don’t i just . . . . . . . 

HOLY CRAP! ----------------------------- I WILL JUST LOOK UP THERE AND DO AS THE SUPREME POWER ABOVE ME DESIERS FOR ME. MY FATE IS WRITTEN BY HIM . . . AND I THOUGHT I CAN FIGHT . . . ACTUALLY;   I AM STILL . . . FIGHTING WITH MYSELF . . . IT’S ME WHO IS IN WAR . . . wait